So, I have finally come to the end of my Contemporary project and overall, I guess you could say I've failed this time around.
Due to not carrying on my routine, I have a different outcome to the one that I thought I was going to have- because of this my final outcomes from the project are images from my last two shoots.
However, I'm not entirely disappointed because I have achieved different things along my journey. Plus- I didn't ask to become ill!
I started this blog to record my records and reflections on how I feel about myself and my body, and will most likely carry on. I haven't done this to gain thousands of followers or page views; because to be quite frank I have done this for myself and only myself. I truly couldn't care less if people didn't care about what I was doing; because it's about making myself feel good, not others.
If you had of asked me two years ago if you think I'd be at the gym four times a week, lifting weights I most likely would have laughed.
Overall I'm okay with the outcome; I'm not over the moon about it because I was hoping to have had completely different images of myself to the ones that I started the project with, but this journey for me isn't over. Just yet.

I cancelled my gym membership the other day, however this is not the end.
I just figured that whilst I'm unwell, and have University deadlines going on there's no point in stressing out even more worrying about the gym.
I have decided that I will go back as soon as I break up for the summer (mid May), this way I'll be able to focus on gym and just gym.
My brother and Matt have been teasing me about quitting; saying that I'm using glandular fever as an excuse and to just shrug it off and carry on- However, if a doctor has advised me to stop until I feel better that is what I'll do. You can't buy health.
In the mean time, while I'm not attending- I need to watch what I'm eating. I haven't been eating as healthy as I was eating, so I don't want to put on weight when I've maintained my weight so well up to now.

It's been over a week since I last posted something!
Within that week, I completed my next shoot for this project.
I wanted to do something different to what I had done before; I wanted to explore into the deeper routed problem, and that is that I've never been happy with my body.
I've either always felt fat, or I've always felt ugly in some way. Within this shoot, you can see this.
I worked especially hard on my performance; my body language, my facial expressions and I believe I have achieved the truth within this series.
Here's a few of my favourites:

So yesterday, I rang up the Doctors to be told that one of my bloods came back abnormal, so I'd have to make another appointment to find out what was wrong.
Naturally, I was worried so I wanted an appointment as soon as and luckily I managed to get one!
So I went back in, and the Doctor basically thinks I could have Glandular fever. This was actually a relief, because I thought it was going to be something to do with my Iron levels; Anaemia.
Therefore, I have to go back Wednesday and have another blood test to confirm this diagnosis.
In all honesty though, I've been really fed up lately. With everything. I've been so tired lately because of this, and my work is getting neglected, gym is getting neglected.
Oh yeah, whilst on the topic of gym- I have also been advised to leave the gym until I'm fully recovered. Gutted to be honest. 

Sorry I never got back to yesterday, Matt came around and it just completely slipped my mind.
I had my bloods took; I was amazed at how little time it took for 2 syringes to be filled! I have been told to ring up today or tomorrow to find out the results, so I will try this afternoon.
I'm leaving in half an hour to hit gym, it's going to be weird only working on my arms and upper half once a week but in all honesty; I could do with the extra time for uni work.
Whilst on the subject of uni work, I have decided I am going to visit a gym with my camera and lighting equipment, to take portraits of people at the gym for my 'Identity' project. I think this could turn out to be an interesting topic, although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous!
I am also going to do a self-portrait shoot which will emphasize how I feel when I'm not attending the gym or cutting down, and the effects it has on me as a person.
I have so much work to do, but all I can think about is the Easter Holidays...

I'm leaving in five to get my bloods taken! Then I'm going gym.
I'm not going to over do it, but at least I can say I've been and deep down I know I've worked out.
I have decided I will go tomorrow and Friday too, but as of next week it's going to be three days a week.
I think it's for the best, and it will give my muscles more time to repair, instead of going day after day.
I will let you know how all goes later.

I'm feeling a bit crap again lately; I'm always tired and I'm getting a lot of headaches. So unfortunately, I'll be missing today's leg session, because I'll be at the doctors instead to find out what's going on.
However, I may do some light exercises at home; depends how I'm feeling...
7.19pm- So, I attended the docs at 3pm today, and I have to have my bloods tested tomorrow morning at 11.40am. They said I'll hopefully get the results back Thurs/Fri, I just want to know that I'm okay.
The doctor did advise me to maybe cut down the days I attend the gym; so instead of going 4 times per week, cut down to 3 instead. I think maybe he is right; I need a one day break in between, so instead of going Tues, Wed, Thurs and Fri, I'll go Mon, Wed and Fri.
I felt really guilty today for not going, and I'm most likely going to feel guilty when I cut it down... This is something I'm going to have to face; because I value my health more. 

Today's session was different to say the least.
I saw Dan was working (PT), and asked if he could spot me whilst I was on the squat rack. Unfortunately, somebody was already using it, so he suggested the smith machine. I didn't really want to use this, because focusing on balance is something that I am use to doing whilst squatting; and this is something you don't need to do on a smith machine- The weight is fixed into the machine, and therefore if you were to drop it; it wouldn't really matter because it wouldn't be going anywhere. However, I'm glad I have tried it because it is always something I can do if another weight is in use.
This is an example:

Whereas I prefer this:

As well as trying something new, I also met a girl who wanted to do the same thing as me, so we took our sets in turns and ended up doing our whole workout together.
It was good, because she was trying to push into doing more, but at the same time I didn't want to over do it; I'd rather just push myself.
It was also more time consuming, as I had to wait for her to do her sets; because I like to get on and do my own workout routine I found this slightly frustrating.
I also got complimented at the gym today! Although, that was pretty weird... But that's another story! 

As you know, I'm currently in my second year at university and today I had to present my presentation to my class and two lecturers. I was quite nervous; feeling sick and a banging headache wasn't my plan before I was about to present, but there you go. I did it anyway, and it's a massive weight that's been lifted! Very relieved :)
Feeling like this, I didn't want to face the gym. I did. But I didn't want to.
I had a standard workout, didn't beat any PR's and I didn't over exert myself on the treadmill. I've just been feeling very tired lately, and no matter how much sleep I get I still feel the same. Sucks, but hopefully this will pass.
Tomorrow, I'm back to doing legs; but my legs are still aching from Tuesday's session! This time, I'm going to move from the free weights that I do in my usual section, and go into the other section where I can achieve heavier weights on the squat rack or the smith machine- I'll let you know how I get on.
For now, stay motivated people! Ciao.

I'm surprisingly not aching as much as I thought I would be from yesterday's workout session!
It hurts slightly to walk up the stairs but that's it really!
Becky's arms are really aching today from training her up yesterday; no pain, no gain!
I really enjoyed working with Becky; I could tell that she has a good upper body strength and I knew that she was more than capable of doing bicep curls with me, so I pushed her into doing 8kg in each hand and she did better than me! I could happily enjoy working as a personal trainer in all honesty; Becky felt good after her workout yesterday, and I liked seeing this.
We then went home, and cooked ourselves a well deserved protein meal which consisted of smoked haddock in a sauce, with vegetables (carrots and fine beans) and medium baked potatoes- So good!

As you're probably aware, I have a lot of university projects to be getting on with meaning I'm so busy, and time is becoming of the essence. I haven't missed one gym session since I've started; but there's a chance today I could.
I have a presentation to prepare for tomorrow, so I'm trying to perfect that.
Apologies in advance if I don't post. X

Today was pretty awesome- I actually feel better!
I've been staying at my friend Becky's, and she kindly offered to do a shoot with me at her gym (puregym south: Wolverhampton).
Doing this, I met another personal trainer and he kicked things off for me when he helped with the squat rack.
It was the first time I was trying something new for my squats, and usually I only lift 25kg; this time he pushed me into doing 40kg, and I did it! 3 sets of 10 reps- with Becky standing directly in front of me taking photos. So I'm feeling really determined now to carry on!
A part of me really wants to join this gym, and cancel my other membership at my gym in Birmingham, but I couldn't see myself travelling all the way to Wolverhampton just to go the gym...
Here's a few images from today!

Today's workout was exhausting.
Again, nothing has changed. I'm still feeling like shit.
It was the same leg routine, but it took me everything to carry on.
However, I did make progress with my seated calf raises; instead of using two legs which is what I would usually do, I was using one.
With two legs I can lift 83kg, and with one leg I can lift 79kg; I don't think this is bad at all. From doing this, I did find out that my right leg is the weakest.

I have noticed within my images, that I tend to hide my face; this is because I still don't feel completely confident enough to show it. This could change when I see enough progress has been made...

Again, I'm still feeling the same way I have been this last week.
It's really starting to aggravate me, because I don't want to feel tired all of the time.
So today was the same as yesterday, except I did up my weight; and I surprisingly felt better for it!
I did my tricep extensions with 8kg; 3 sets of 10 reps and I did my bicep curls with 6kg- again 3 sets of 10 reps. I may start upping my reps, once I feel like I can do more; I want to push myself, but not to the point where I'm over doing it, and my form is shit.
I have seen a slight difference in my arms, not massive; but there's slightly more curve between the bicep and where the shoulder starts...

I think it's a good idea that I'm recording my progress, so I can keep looking back and comparing!

This week is testing me.
I've been feeling awful; fatigued, headaches and blah hormonal.
I found it hard trying to get myself motivated today for the gym, but as soon as I got there I just cracked on with it.
It's got to the point where I'm not doing as much cardio now as I was before, I'd usually do 25 mins at the end of each workout, and now I'm just doing 10 mins. Whether this is because I found out that weight lifting burns fat anyway, or whether I'm just feeling too tired, I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of both.
I do hope that this fatigued feeling passes soon, because I'm feeling really fed up with it.
As you know, I worked on my arms and back today. I did my usual, and then went upstairs to do my tricep extensions (6kg- I may try 8kg tomorrow) and bicep curls (4kg- I may try 6kg tomorrow), I didn't feel enough burn; and that's how I know I need to up my weight- It's just having the energy to do it!

So I changed my routine around a bit today. I fancied a change, and wanted to do something that was going to challenge me more- It did.
Instead of doing dumbell lunges, I decided to incorporate my lunges with my squats. By this, I mean I took the 25kg barbell, did 12 reps of normal squats, 12 reps of sumo squats, 12 reps of legs together squats (I don't know what you call them) and 12 reps of lunges. I did 3 sets of these.
A challenge; but I enjoyed it! Made a change to what I've been doing for weeks.
I then carried on with my other leg exercises that I usually do, along with 15 minutes on the treadmill.
I've learnt that it's all about finding the right balance; and once you get it things will work great. Every now again, that balance may become uneven, and that's when you need to reset it.

Friday was then followed by this weekend of myself not feeling very well.
Since then, I have been getting at least 2 headaches a day, with sharp pains in the sides of my head and eye sockets. It's awful.
However, I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow morning for leg day!
I missed doing my dead lifts Friday because of how unwell I felt, but tomorrow I'm hoping to do my usual 4 sets of 30kg and it's going to be even more successful this time because my boyfriend Matt kindly gave me some work out gloves that will stop my hands from slipping and stop the callouses from forming even more.

- I didn't get to do my deadlifts in the end, because the particular barbell I use was missing; how annoying!
However, the work out gloves Matt gave me helped with other weights!

So I've had the day from hell today.
My train from Rugeley got delayed by 40 minutes, meaning I wasn't going to make my PT session! Prior to this, I didn't get a very good sleep; 5 hours at most. I don't know what it was, my stomach hasn't been right lately, so I was in a little pain throughout the early hours of the morning.
I apologized to Dan (PT), and in the end he only did about 20 minutes to half an hour with me. In a way, I partly think that my train getting delayed happened for a reason; I haven't had much energy today, my balance and posture have been poor...
However, I have learnt some new techniques that could help me tone more! I usually lift quite heavy with my legs, and Dan suggested that instead of lifting heavy and doing reps of 10, I should lift fairly light starting with 40 reps. I tried this, and wow.
Lets just say, I could really feel the burn. Dan was right of course.
He then went through 3 sets of leg, abs and arms exercises with 30 second breaks in between. I thought I was dying!
I was sweating, shaking and... Failing.
Because I'm not use to doing these types of exercises, I did find them really hard; nevertheless Dan did reassure me that this was only my first time. True, I guess.
I'm not giving up without a fight.
I will post some progress photos over the weekend.
Ciao for now.

I haven't been feeling quite well today. I attended University, and as soon as I finished I started getting palpitations and feeling sick; regardless I still attended the gym.
I can't just skip gym, because I'm not feeling great. I haven't missed a session since I started (16th January).
It was a decent workout, I still did everything I usually did; but didn't go as hard on the abs.
On the plus side, I got some new dri fit pants!

Makes a change to have a bit of colour to them!
I've also purchased some new sports socks, and I need to eventually buy another water flask for my protein shakes.

I'm glad I'm doing this; keeping fit.
I've learnt that it's not just how you look that matters, it's how healthy you are that really counts.
Don't get me wrong- I'd love to have a great body, but we're never happy anyway. Are we?
We always have something to moan about, and for once in my life I'm just going to be grateful for what I DO have.
There's always somebody worse off than you...
Motto of the day.

The weather is getting so much nicer lately, and it's making me even more happy. It makes me think if my body will be any different for the summer; I really hope it is.
Today, I'm going to the gym later than usual because I want to say goodbye to my uncle; he leaves to go back to Australia tonight, and it will be the last time I see him for at least another good few years.
Again, it will be the same routine like I have been doing the past 6 weeks; it will eventually change, but that won't be until a good few months.
I'm not one to post images online of my body, but it is a project in progress in where I will need to record changes and set more and more aims for myself and my body.
Today, I posted an image to Instagram of how I look today; initially I didn't want to do this, because I'm not happy with the way that I look yet, but to my surprise people were 'liking' it. 

I had a decent workout; managed to burn 165 cals through doing my cardio, and got all of my weights done. I upped my weight on the lateral pull down, and upped my reps per set on my abdominal twists which I was pleased with.
I'm really looking forward to dinner! It's a toss up between a ham and egg omelette, or a chicken curry! Yummy.

It's been a few days since I last spoke, but my weekends and Mondays are rest days for me; this could eventually change, but until I complete Semester 2 it will stay the same.
Today was another good day for legs, I did my usual but I upped the weight for my calf raises from 79kg to 86kg which I was happy with.
The area of the gym in which I work on my legs was rather quiet today, which was great for me; I prefer it when there are less people- It means I don't have to wait around for weights.
I wanted to up the weight for my lunges to 10kg in each hand, but the weights were nowhere to be seen which was annoying, but Friday can bring it! I wanna show my PT that I can work hard on my legs. No pressure.
I had to halve my cardio time today, because I wanted to get back to my Nans on time to see my uncle who has came over to visit from Australia- Means extra work tomorrow!
I had my protein shake straight after my workout today for the first time; can't really say I felt any different, but I'm sure in time it will take it's tole.
For the past 5-6 weeks, I have been using an app called 'My Fitness Pal', I have used it before when I was trying to lose weight, but this time I'm using it just to keep my eye on the carbs, proteins and fats I'm taking in.

I have my standard 3 meals a day- Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, and on every 2nd hour in between these I will have a piece of fruit or cottage cheese; this is helping my metabolism stay at a good pace, and burning foods more regularly.
Breakfast- x2 weetabix, banana and milk.
Lunch- whole meal bread and protein filling (chicken, turkey, tuna, salmon, egg, etc.) and a cereal bar.
Dinner- protein (meats, fish, eggs, etc.), fibre (beans, vegetables, etc.) and carbs (sweet/ normal potatoes, bread, etc.)
This is me below a month in training, tomorrow I will post an image of what I'm like now (2 weeks later)

Hey!
I didn't have chance to post again yesterday- busy busy busy.
I did get chance to write up my weekly routine for you however:

• Tuesday- Leg day:
  Lunges- 4 sets/15 reps of 8kg
  Barbell squats- 4 sets/10 reps of 25kg
  Deadlift- 4 sets/10 reps of 30kg
  Seated calf press- 4 sets/12 reps of 73kg
  Hip abduction- 4 sets/10 reps of 35kg
  Leg press- 4 sets/10 reps of 59kg/66kg
  Hamstring raises- 4 sets/ 10 reps of 23kg
  Leg extension- 4 sets/10 reps of 29kg
  Cardio:
  Rowing machine- 10 mins.
  Cross trainer- 10 mins.
• Wednesday- Abs, back, shoulders:
  Abdominal crunches- 4 sets/12 reps of 23kg
  Back press- 4 sets/ 12 reps of 59kg
  Abdominal twists- 4 sets/20 reps of 4kg (medicine ball)
  Lat pull down- 4 sets/10 reps of 23kg
  Shoulder extension- 4 sets/10 reps of 18kg
  Chest press- 3 sets/10 reps of 11/18kg
  Rowing machine- 10 mins.
  Cross trainer- 10 mins.
• Thursday- Abs, back, shoulders: Same as Wednesday.
• Friday- Leg day: Same as Tuesday.

The sun is shining again, and I'm getting ready to head to the gym again.
Yesterday was okay- yes, okay.
I wasn't lifting as much as I thought I'd be with the chest and shoulder press; this is making me aim to get my arms stronger than what they are. I don't necessarily want them to look muscly, but I would like them to look toned and just to simply up my strength.
One good thing came out of yesterday; I found my protein bars!

I'm doing the same exercises today, so it can get slightly repetitive on Tuesdays and Wednesdays; I'm definitely more passionate about my leg days in comparison!
At least I'll have a protein bar after my workout to keep me going...
Later, I will post my workout schedules for each day along with the reps and sets I achieve.
Ciao for now!   

Sooo, yesterday was leg day.
For the first time, I didn't feel tired and exhausted like I do throughout any workout.
I didn't walk down the stairs weird, or try and sit down on a toilet seat as fast as I could.
Today, I would usually be in pain. My legs would usually ache with every step I take, but today is different.
Whether it's my body getting use to all of the exercises that I'm doing; I'm not sure. 
It could also be the healthy food that I'm eating; my protein intake is definitely giving me more energy!

However, this is making me want to step up my game; if I don't feel pain, I'm not working hard enough.
No pain, no gain right?
Today, I'll be attending the gym around midday for an hour working on my abs and shoulders. I do this on Tuesdays, and Wednesdays (I try and leave the biggest gap between my leg days).
Today is going to be a good day- The sun is shining, and I'm ready to give it my all.

An addiction/obsession to exercise and bodybuilding.

My names Aimee Dcaccia, a second year university photography student and this is a blog to record my exercise and bodybuilding progress from now (mid February) up until May.

I am currently working my way through the contemporary project that has to be completed for then.

Last semester, I explored the subject of 'Addiction'; which covered what and why we feel the way we do as to whatever we 'need' to do to make us feel happy.

Exercise and bodybuilding interests me, along with the people that I have worked with to produce the results of imagery for my final work. 

Before I started up this project, I had no real interest into 'bodybuilding', and had 'little time' for much exercise. I was lazy, and would make excuses as to why I couldn't or what I had to do instead.

However, it has been a month and a day today that I have been attending 'thegym' in Birmingham four times a week, where I complete two hours of lifting weights and two hours of cardiovascular.

You could say I'm being obsessive with the way in which I look, or that I'm addicted to doing this now. The answer- I couldn't tell you.

I do know that I would be annoyed at myself now if I didn't complete this each week and that the people around me majorly influence me. One being my boyfriend.
However in the six months that we have been together, I haven't always been interested in 'bodybuilding' for me.

If anything, I use to find it hard to understand why Matt had to complete this mundane routine each week. I think I finally understand now.
It was a day after my 20th Birthday that I started (16th January), where I would only do an hour of cardio each time. I needed confidence to start lifting weights; I didn't want to look like an idiot in front of experienced people there.

I remember the first day, I was so frustrated that I hadn't done what I set out to do that I cried. Pathetic right?

This new lifestyle meant something to me. I cared. I wanted to be determined; feel stronger; have will power. Do something for myself.
Is it for myself though? Or do I care too much about what people around me think about me?
A month on, and I'm proving all of these.

From this day forward, I will upload a post everyday telling you what workouts I am doing, how I'm feeling, what I'm eating accompanied with an image.

Peace.

Contact sheet of my first shoot.